Something to Be Grateful For

For a long time, the word gratitude made me angry.

When you are in the middle of a storm, when you forget to eat and have to remind yourself to breathe, being told to “focus on what you're grateful for” can feel almost cruel. As if the pain were a matter of perspective. As if you could simply choose to feel better.

I still believe that gratitude doesn't fix a storm. It doesn't make the wind stop or the water calmer. And it shouldn't be used to hurry anyone out of their pain.

But slowly, I learned something I didn't expect. Even on the worst days, there was always something. Not a big thing. Never a big thing. A warm cup of coffee I actually finished. Work that gave my days a shape when everything else fell apart. People who stayed, even when I had nothing to give them. A wet nose on my hand in the dark.

None of it changed what was happening. But it reminded me that the storm wasn't all there was.

I think that's what gratitude really is. Not pretending everything is fine. Just noticing, very quietly, that even now, something is still good. Something is still holding on to you.

I kept a notebook through those years. Some days, the list was one line long. Many days, all I could write was the same sentence:

I am still here, breathing.

And maybe that was the most important thing to be grateful for.

If you are in your own storm right now, I won't tell you to be thankful. I'll just ask you gently:

What is one small thing, just one, that is still holding on to you today?

With love, from HerWay

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